what were u expecting?

the past few days have been awesome. i feel like there's so much to share.. but my memory sucks.. so i'll try my best.

GRACE... so my noona flew up on wed afternoon. and it was good seeing her. unfortunately.. i've confirmed that she's still w/her bf. oh well. so anyways... she was planning to go on short-term missions to vietnam in march, but she's not sure if that's gonna happen. reason is, b/c even if she gets support, after she comes back, she's not sure if she will have the $ to pay her mortgage n stuff (she works on commission.. and the mortgage industry has been hurting lately)... but i dunno.. it just doesn't seem like she wants to go anymore. when the idea first popped up, she seemed so excited... but now... i dunno, we'll see where this goes. all i can do is pray that God would give her the wisdom to decide what to do.. b/c whether it be go or stay, He's the one that's gonna provide for her.

CHURCH:: so i went to my home church for New Year's Eve... a tradition that i broke last year, but i'm kinda glad i didn't break it this yr. the two services lasted from approx. 11pm-1am. the reason i like going is b/c i get to spend it w/my family. the sucky thing is that the service is in korean... so i space out for almost the entire time. haha... after the service... the new pastor approached me.. and he asked me about serving as a youth teacher. *sigh*.. this again? haha.. i told him i'd think/pray about it. but man.. right afterwards.. these 4 kids surrounded me. they remembered me from when they were really really young.. and they've grown so much! they range from 1st - 7th. so anyways.. one of the girls was like.. when two ppl are gone, then 50% of our youth group is gone. how sad is that? at least when i went there... we had 12 ppl on a good day. haha... that sounds really big compared to their group. so i dunno... i dunno if God convicted me.. or He made me really sorry for those kids... *sigh*.. but i think i am going to go teach back at my home church... probably starting sometime in the summer, which will give kcpc to find new CM teachers. i feel like this is a step in faith... i dunno how i'm going to be taught... but i do know that God has equipped me to teach the kids at my home church... but what will i teach them after the shorter catechism? haha...

NEW YEAR'S DAY:: went to my cousins place in sf. it was our family, my uncles family, and my grandparents. we were short one family b/c my aunt was in korea. but i had a great time nonetheless. i whooped my cousins at Mario Kart: Double Dash.. *WOOT WOOT*. who's da man, yo? haha.. oh yea.. and one of our cousins gave my sis n i a framed photo of a pic of the cousins. does that make sense? joann (cuz) gave me and grace (sis) each a framed photo of our group photo from a while ago... it's a good pic. maybe i'll post it somewhere... later on.. my gomo-halmuni and her family came over to do sae-bae... i felt bad for taking the money this year... just b/c i'm working now n stuff like that... i wonder when they're gonna stop? maybe when i get married? we'll see. so as my gomo-halmuni was leaving... my mom told me to give her a box of tangerines... so i went out there.. and i tried giving it to her.. but she wouldn't take it. she took about 5 and said to keep them.. but i kept persisting.. u know how this goes.. well anyways.. eventually.. she was like.. there's no one at home to eat them... and then i stopped... and realized she was referring to her husband who passed away a few months prior. crap.. i felt really bad... i said ok.. and just let her go w/those 5 tangerines. hmm... the older and older we get... the more people we know will start dying. realizing this... i shouldn't put off or ignore my walk w/God... my relationship w/my dad... things like that... ok.. so this is a good transition...

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION:: yea yea.. i'm selling out. i'll try to make some resolutions... will they be kept? i dunno.. ask the big man above.

1) pursue God with a passion, because He has already taken hold of me.
2) work on being a man of my word. (this is already working! a friend called to wish me happy new year.. then asked if i could help them move in.. i said maybe... HAHA.. no promises i can't keep ok!)
3) learn to play songs. (too many times i give up too easily on things i know i can achieve...) so the song i want to learn right now is 'LA Song by Beth Hart' on the piano. i realize that i haven't played piano in more than 10yrs.. and that i've wasted my mom's $ for the lessons as a kid. but i want to be able to play this song. i dunno.. an example of this would be... if i used to be a blue belt in tkd... then stopped for 10 years... then suddenly wish to be able to execute a flawless turn around jump roundhouse kick, without practicing anything else but that... as an instructor i'd laugh. so moving on...
4) Work on my relationship w/my dad. to love him and show him that i do love him.
5) Find more accountability partners.
6) Only date Christian girls... in the past.. i was open to dating and going out w/non-Christians as long as they were cute/pretty. haha... jk... but now they have to be Christian AND cute/pretty.

*sigh*... i feel like this list could go on and on... and i don't want to put anymore on there... for fear that i will be taking on more than i can handle...

I'll end with a 2003 Praise Report...

1) God changed my attitude about work
2) God is working in my sisters heart and has given her the realization that she needs Jesus
3) God has provided me with an awesome car that i will keep until i can give to my kids. haha
4) God has given me wonderful relationships for encouragement, growth, rebuking and all taht good stuff.
5) i know there's tons more i'm skimping out on.. but i can't remember... sorry

Father... i praise you for your faithfulness. i ask that you may help me to embrace my identity as Your child in this new year. i want to live in your grace... not apart from it. help me to glorify your name in my life... and provide me with the strength, wisdom and knowledge to do so. In Christ's name I pray... Amen.